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Now, you may ask yourself, what's the connection between arousal and the g spot? Well, the g spot is best found and stimulated when you are completely turned on. If you try to stimulate it before it can be hard to find, and stimulation can be uncomfortable or even painful. The best time to explore the g spot is when your partner is so hot she’s begging you to be inside her.
To help you get to that place quickly and easily, we’re focusing this article on getting you both highly aroused - quickly and easily. Speaking of arousal, did you know the most important part of the body for arousal is ... the mind? Yes, its not the clitoris, the penis, or any erogenous zone. Its the mind. About 75% of arousal comes from the mind (especially for women).
So, guys, I’ve created a sample evening to use with your partner, and worked in many small techniques to build arousal. I suggest you read this over, completely, and then plan an evening with your partner this week and follow the steps:
1) when you wake up, tell your partner that you love her, and then share two or three things you enjoy about being with her. When you are sharing this, focus on speaking from your root ... you may notice often your energy is in your head, or your throat. Use your breathe, and your awareness to speak from your sex. Speak with heart, and with emotion. be real!
2) tell your partner that you’ve planned a super sexy night for her, and that you have a surprise for her as well. (DO NOT TELL HER WHAT IT IS!) This will let your partner know that tonight is not a normal night. It will also make her think about it all day. This is what you want.
3) don’t spend much time with your partner that day. be out, be busy. its important to have physical seperation, to build a bit of distance.
4) however, make a point to call her and say that you love her and are looking forward to going out later that night. by now, she’ll likely be telling her friends how strange you’re acting! : )
When you are out that night, do whatever you would normally do: cook-in, go out to a nice restaurant, have wine, cocktails, etc.
5) However, when you first greet her, make a point to hug/kiss her with love and intensity. Also, create an excuse to whisper something (anything) in her ear, and let your breath linger on her neck.
6) Then, throughout the evening, create excuses to massage her shoulders, touch her arm or leg, be close to her, etc.
Now, you can do all these small techniques things at any time, on any day. (In fact, I recommend you do them all the time!). I’m just framing them over an evening date to make them easier to teach you.
Its likely by now that she’ll ask you about your surprise ... don’t tell her what it is. Keep the suspense and mystery. Feel free to be playful – but don’t tell her.
Now, its after dinner, you’re coming back home. Tell her that the first part of the surprise is that you’ve planned a special evening once you get back. Say, I’m going to give you a cocktail (or a glass of wine, etc.) when we get home and go upstairs and prepare.
This makes her even more curious, and lets her know you’re taking care of everything. Women generally find this super sexy.
Go to your bedroom, and set things up. You’re going to be doing some massage and sexual exercises with your partner. Prepare for that, and then invite your partner into the space.
Now, in this part of the evening, you’re going to experiment with some simple exercises that build attraction, arousal and intimacy. Again, you can use these techniques any time, together or separate. I’ve just put them into an evening activity as a way to teach them (it also makes for a great night of fun!)
1) tell your partner that you’ve designed an evening to help create intimacy and arousal. that neither of you will be orgasming tonight – that’s its about loving each other, and getting hot and sexy – without the pressure of orgasm. (you heard me – don’t have an orgasm ... take away the predicable path ... you’ll get much more hot for each other, and its good practice. trust me!
2) take a few minutes to share a bit about what you appreciate and admire about each other. we often don’t do this with our partners. share 2 or 3 things each.
3) now, take a few minutes, to look into your partners left eye. sit quietly, be present with each other, feel your partner. if you mind wanders bring it back. this is a small exercise to build presence and intimacy. it will likely feel quite weird in the beginning. do it anyway!
4) if it seems appropriate share a bit about how that ways, and try it again
5) now, take 5 minutes to kiss each other. pretend you’ve just met. explore each other. kiss as if that’s all you are going to do tonight, not as an excuse to get to have sex. explore her lips, tongue, neck, ears, chin, throat, etc.
6) you will likely get bored and want to move on. don’t! i’ve done workshops where you have to kiss 1,000 times differently. be creative. push through the normal patterns. we are retraining how you approach sex. slowing you down. re- awakening your senses. building creative muscle.
7) after this, lay your partner down, and put a blindfold on her. (if you don’t have one, you can use a scarf, or something else)
8) take 10 or 15 minutes to touch your partners body. NOT HER CLITORUS OR VAGINA. enjoy yourself. if you are having fun, you will be much more present, and amazingly enough, it will feel much better to her. experiment with different kinds of touch: hard, fast, slow, soft, circular, fingernails, pads of fingers, feather, silk, tongue, lips, cold breathe, hot breathe, something warm, something cold, etc. track your partner’s response. what you are doing should be turning her on. if its not, try something different, and check in with her
9) never feel bad about requesting, giving or receiving feedback. you can’t know everything, so don’t expect it of yourself.
10) now, at this point in the evening, you can start to innovate. you can either have you partner lay you down and do the same thing to you. you can start to involve her yoni and clitoris. you can branch into massage, oral sex, sex, etc. be creative.
Remember, do not have an orgasm tonight. Use the evening to enjoy each other. Revel in each other’s taste, smell’s, and passion. Love and be loved. Find the freedom that comes from not trying to get somewhere.
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The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about who should hold the responsibility of educating young people about sex and sexuality. On one side of the spectrum there are those who believe that parents and only parents should be teaching such sensitive and value-fill information to kids. On the other side, there are those who say that not enough education is being done in the home and that the schools need to step up and do the right thing by kids.
To further the debate and increase its complexity is the question about what exactly kids need to know and when. President Bush has issued his own view on the matter by granting government funding for those schools and programs that provide “abstinent only” education, meaning that there is no discussion about anything but abstaining from sex until marriage. Many people believe, and most research proves, that this message severely short changes children and could potentially set them up for making bad and or even life threatening decisions.
Many parents that I talk to believe in comprehensive education (talking about all aspects of sex and sexuality including abstinence), and are always comforted to hear that research is firm in showing that kids want to hear it from their parents and often make better choices when they have had those parental conversations.
But…..parents as sex educators…. This prospect for some is almost as frightening as the concept of kids having sex. Take it from me; it doesn’t have to be frightening. There is so much information available that anyone, even parents, can do a great job. There are just a few things to keep in mind in order to be successful.
A. Be honest and open. The rule is that if a kid asks a question, he got the idea from somewhere and needs to have an age appropriate response. Ignoring the question or telling a child that he/she shouldn’t be asking about such things sends the message that certain questions are off limits and they will take those questions elsewhere, school friends for example, who don’t always have the correct answers or have the family values that you would want articulated in mind. Keep in mind the "age appropriate" part of this tip. As parents we don't want our kids to know to much to soon, but developmentally, they may be more advanced and ready to hear more than you think. If you aren't sure, look it up.
B. It is ok to share your values and morals and what you expect for your family. I think that often parents feel like they can’t express their own expectations for their children when they educate about sexuality. You can talk about methods of pregnancy and disease prevention at the same time that you are talking about abstinence and relationship building. One is not exclusive of the other.
C. It is also ok to set limits and boundaries where you need. Talking about a penis in the middle of the grocery store is not appropriate. Those types of situations can easily be handled by telling a child that his or her question is valid and important, but would be much better dealt with at home. The thing to remember here is that you must go back to your child with the question when you said you would. Thinking that your child will just forget and you’ll be off the hook does nothing for your credibility. And trust me, your kids will not forget, they will just remind you that you forgot when it suits their needs.
D. Often times a parent will get a question about a topic or a situation that they are not comfortable with or have very little information about. It is critical for parents to know and believe that they do not have to be experts in sex education. They must be able to, however, know their limits and know where to get the resources they need to refer their children for the right answers. It is also ok to admit to your child that you aren’t the best person to talk about this topic, but that you know the person who is.
E. As difficult as it may be, it is also important to completely understand what your child is asking and why he/she is asking the question. I heard a story once that a little girl asked her Dad what secs was. Hearing this, Dad automatically assumed that she was asking about sex and went into his whole birds and bees lecture. When he was finished he asked his daughter why she had asked the question. The young daughter stated that mom said that dinner would be done in a couple of secs. She just wanted to know what that meant. Clarifying the question is vital to making sure that you are answering their questions thoroughly and completely.
F. Bone up on your own education. It is not enough that your children know about the latest method of birth control, you should also know. Know what it is that kids are talking about and thinking about when it comes to sexuality. Go to teen websites, read teen magazines, have conversations with your kids. The more information you have the better you can educate your kids.
G. Take advantage of teachable moments. Kids won’t always want to talk to their parents. Especially if you haven’t set up your home environment this way. So you may have to bring up a subject out of the blue. Use situations that you see on television shows or articles that you have read to get kids opinions. Ask them what they think. Share with them what you think and why. For example, you are watching the latest episode of The Bachelor. Ask you child how they feel about having intimate relationships with so many people in such a short time. Discuss the messages that you think the show sends, find out what messages your child is receiving. How do they feel about group dates? Anything to open up those lines of communication.
So, what do you do when the big day comes and your child asks you a tough question? You can start by using the C.A.L.M. method of answering.
C- Clarify the question. Ask the child why the question is being asked. Where did the topic come up? What does the child know about the topic or what does he/she think the answers are. This will definitely make sure that you are staying on the right track.
A- Answer the question basically. I like to think about building blocks when answering tough questions. You start with the most basic answer and then build on that answering from the next level and so on. Try to avoid the tendency to lecture. Kids, especially young ones, rarely listen to a long explanation; they only are listening for they think they want to hear. This could become problematic in that kids will not hear the correct answer or they will interpret incorrectly what you have said.
L- Listen to your child response. By answering basically you allow your child to let you know if he/she got the complete answer they were looking for. If they ask you another question, you know you need to go to the next building block. Don’t forget to watch for body language too. Some children may not have the words to ask more questions. But you know your child and you will know when his body language shows that he isn’t clear or in completion with your answer.
M- Motivate your child to continue to feel comfortable to ask more questions. Letting kids know that you are a safe person to come back to and that you will continue to answer their questions will keep them doing so.
We all want to do what is best for our kids, and for most of us, their safety is priority one. Use these tips to approach sexuality education in your own home with confidence!
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If you have ever had a cold sore, you can only hope you never get anther one. We are hoping to provide you with some useful information about what they are, how you get them and some preventative measures you can take to avoid them. Core sores are infections that can occur around or in the mouth. Also referred to herpes simplex, there are 2 strains known as type 1 and type 2. Cold sores are most often caused by type 1 or HSV-1. Type 2 or HSV-2 is most often related to genital herpes where blisters form in the genital area.
Cold sores can easily be transmitted between people through saliva or some other direct contact. Blisters often form on the lips and or inside the mouth. These can frequently turn into painful ulcers that make gums turn red and swell. Some people can suffer from fever, muscle aches, swollen neck glands and irritability when they get a cold sore. They can last anywhere from 3 days to 2 weeks depending on treatment. Herpes simplex type 2 or genital herpes is transmitted sexually. The genital area becomes sore, itchy, tender and just plain painful. Visual signs are blisters on the penis or on the vagina area. These blisters soon turn into painful sores that can last up to 3 weeks.
Cold sores can often appear if one is under stress, is getting a cold or other virus, is exposed to long periods of sunlight, is pregnant or after a tooth has been pulled. If you find you are prone to getting a cold sore, the best prevention is to keep your stress level down as much as possible, get lots of rest if you start feeling under the weather and make sure to use a strong SPF sunscreen lip balm when outdoors. Also, avoid kissing anyone who has one! The best prevention for herpes simplex type 2 is for you to wear a latex condom if you are the male or insist your partner wears one if you are the female.
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The source of human sexual fantasy is usually genitalia and accompanied by explicit visual or imaginary images. These fantasies are normal and considered to be very helpful in getting a quick penile arousal. Medically, sexual fantasies are considered healthy and play a significant part in maintaining a healthy sexual act. But sometimes, sexual fantasies can become a trouble some affair. This happens when the desire to perform sex with someone else or with some other objects rather than your partner increases. In that case one can suffer from acute sexual dysfunction while performing the act with their partner.
Sexual dysfunctions leads to sexual desire disorder, sexual arousal disorder or it may be orgasmic disorder. These disorders lead to failure of sexual activity with your partner. In many instances, it has been found that a problem of perfect penile erection is common. Males either cannot gain enough hard erection or cannot maintain a prolonged erection. At times this creates grave situations in one’s sexual life full of anxiety and depressions. This type of stigma creates problems in ones relationship. Levitra has been discovered to be a useful drug to combat such a case.
Testosterone regulates various sex drives in human beings and maintains our interest in sex. They are responsible for a penile erection by improving the rate of blood flow into the penis. To have a satisfying sex for both the sexual partners, it is a must that the male partner should have an erection. Without it the act of sex is of no use.
Levitra is one such drug that is prescribed basically for perfect penile erection. FDA trials have approved it for treating penile erection. Levitra increases the blood flow to human penis and improve an erection long enough for finishing a sex. It has been clinically proved that Men taking Levitra experienced harder erections and greater success during sex.
Levitra is available in 2.5mg, 5mg, and 10mg and 20 mg tablets and is taken only according to doctor’s prescription. Generally a dose a day is enough to give the required result. It is taken about 60mins before performing sex for it takes time to stimulate our testosterones.
If Levitra doesn’t work for the first time its better to talk to your doctor. Sometimes it could be a matter of adjusting the dose. But one thing one should always keep in mind that Levitra doesn’t cure sexual diseases.
The stigma attached to what some feel are dirty thoughts, ideas and feelings that they should not have if they are “normal”, causes fear and anxiety. Many feel ashamed at these thoughts. The guilt that they generate can often cause problems in a relationship especially where the fantasy is seen as a betrayal of a lover or partner’s trust. As a result it becomes harder to concentrate on their partner which leads to impotency. In such situation Levitra is a boon for these persons
Fantasy is quite normal. It is your private domain. Enjoy your imagination and do not feel guilty.
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Quick, answer a question: Why do people buy from you?
Bzzzzz. Wrong, if you answered with,
• “Uhhh . . .”
• Any description of your product or service.
You get an “Incomplete” if you answered,
• “Because we have great service.”
• “We have the best quality.”
This might seem rather basic to some of you, but if you quit reading I promise you're cheating yourself. Unless you have an inside-and-out understanding of all the possible reasons people buy from you, you're likely inviting objections. That's because you're probably selling what you want to sell, or talking about what the company's marketing department tells you are “benefits.” People buy for their reasons, not yours. Your goal on calls is to learn, remind them of, and understand their reasons for being interested in you, and ultimately buying.
An Example
Let's look at an example. A copy machine salesperson calls a smaller company, hoping to sell a copier. He speaks with the Office Manager who typically makes decisions like this one. After asking a few basic qualifying questions he learns the office has four people in it, and they now have a big old monster of a copy machine that has been in the office for about eight years.
Thinking he has a hot prospect, the rep launches into a pitch about the latest techno-copier that does everything but write the documents for you. He overwhelms the listener with a point-by-point description of each of the “benefits”-or what he thinks are benefits (they indeed are, to some people).
The prospect says, “What we have is working just fine now.”
He retorts with some rendition of the “feel-felt-found” technique and rams into a brick wall. He writes this one off, and moves to the next. Same pitch, same result.
What Went Wrong?
So is the rep not skilled at closing? How about overcoming objections? Neither. You could make a case for him not being a skilled questioner, but that might not be fair. The fact is, he doesn't have a clear understanding of why people buy from him-from their perspective, not his.
You see, in this case, the Office Manager was a technophobe. She just traded in her IBM Selectric for a computer for gosh sakes! And, she is paying $300 per year, plus a per copy charge for a maintenance contract on her current dinosaur copier-about half of what a new, smaller, more reliable machine would cost to buy!
And that's not all. The prospect was really quite interested in the fact that the machine the rep was pitching could do enlargement and reduction. Her's couldn't, and she had to personally go down to the Quick Copy to have them done, and it was a tremendous hassle. But, the rep had already mentioned so many other “benefits” that were actually perceived negatives to the prospect, that she didn't think it would be worth it to talk about that one feature. However, in isolation, it could have sold her.
Even if you think you have a clue about why people buy from you, do the following exercise. And do it often, since situations change regularly.
Here's an exercise we work on in training seminars. It lays the foundation for everything else we do.
1. Identify all the different levels and types of buyers and influencers for what you sell. Describe them by title and/or function. For example, depending on the organization, you might have an Advertising Director as the buyer. In smaller companies it could be an Office Manager, or maybe even the President.
2. Taking each of these types of people, identify how they're typically evaluated in their job. A Purchasing Manager is evaluated differently than a sales manager-the former on conservation, while the latter on production. Why should we think about this? We all have a desire to survive-at the very least-in our jobs, and most of us want to thrive. Knowing how someone is measured in their environment provides insight to what makes them tick.
3. Regarding your types of product/service, what do they want and need most? Be as specific as possible. Saying, “They want good quality,” doesn't cut it. If you can't see, feel, hear, touch, or taste it, how can you describe it? Good quality manifests itself in the form of “A machine that requires virtually no servicing other than routine maintenance.”
4. Conversely, what do they want to avoid? Again, be specific, descriptive. Don't say “poor service.” Better: “They hate having to wait three hours to get an answer to a basic technical question.”
Answering these questions is just a start. After you've compiled your list, then you use the answers to create questions to determine if, indeed, these possible benefits truly are benefits.
